The Best Way to Have a Lesbian Experience

Step right up folks, don’t be shy! Inside this tent you’ll find many wonders of the unnatural world: the dumb questions that people ask about all things lesbian.  Yes, some are innocent and haven’t a clue and blurt out statements such as “gee I just don’t know about this and I’d really like to know”. Others, well, they just aren’t thinking things through is all, and so dumb questions fall out of their heads. It’s something to see.

To whet your appetite and invite you in just in time for Toronto Pride, here’s a sample.

Q: What is the best way to have a lesbian experience?

A: The fastest way is to be a lesbian.

Now let me give you a bit of context. When you say ‘lesbian experience’ I will assume two things:

  1. that you are a woman, and
  2. that your definition of a lesbian experience is limited to you having sex with a woman.

If you are not a lesbian and have no inclination to ever be a lesbian, you will not have the best lesbian experience. It might be the best and most interesting, erotic, sexual experience, but it’s not the best lesbian experience any more than spending a night in Rome sitting on the Spanish Steps or walking in the Trevi Fountain is the best Italian experience.

If you can’t fall in love with a woman and can’t imagine living your life with a woman, giving your heart mind, body and soul to a woman and wanting to share everything with her, then you are simply looking for a sexual experience with a woman, and exploring sexuality; a tourist in Lesbianland. Which is fine. Sexual exploration is natural and healthy. I’m all for playing. But please: name it for what it is.

8 Responses to The Best Way to Have a Lesbian Experience

  1. Lilian says:

    wow I love your blog!! I would love it if you could join this page and perhaps become an administrator of some sort and just keep sharing your words with us. Please let me know what you think.

  2. Joe says:

    hey there! Wow. all words in this blog are just.. awesome! Been exploring your blog while im here in the office. I couldn’t agree more.

    I know I am a lesbian since gradeschool, but I am never out (yes, fuck my life, been hiding for more than 15 years!) And no one had ever asked me if i am gay. I am not that girly girl, i am just plain and simple (and bright). I have a girlfriend right now. We’re together for almost a year. And she’s also not out. I am her first. She’s straight (..or used to be straight). haha. All I can say is that my relationship with her is the best relationship I ever had. I love her and I am willing to be with her for the rest of my life. She also loves me and feels the same way. I never loved someone like how I love her. But what’s a relationship without challenges? yes, there are some obstacles and fears, and problems in our world, and we are overcoming it together. If I could have another life, I will still chose to be with her.

    Please continue inspiring us with your words. And glad to know there’s someone out there who understands a lesbian life! Kudos, bro!

  3. berry says:

    hey there most of my life so far I have only ever been with men this weekend I’m going on my first date with a beautiful girl Bree. I’m so nervous! not about meeting her but what could possibly happen afterwards..any advice?

    • fs says:

      Dear B; the most important thing to remember is to Breathe. If you don’t breathe and you pass out it will be a memorable date for all of the wrong reasons.

      Your note says “meeting her…” so I’m not sure if this means you haven’t actually met…? Know each other? I’ll assume the two of you have enough interest to want to meet each other, know each other and explore. It’s a first date. You can be nervous: it’s perfectly normal to be nervous. I don’t think first date jitters ever go away. She might be nervous too. You can talk about how nervous you are…

      Now, you said nervous about afterwards: Being nervous isn’t terminal, even if it feels like your heart is going to rip open your rib cage and run screaming down the street. One step at a time. Depends on what you mean by afterwards. If you mean intimacy…..

      Super important information: Do NOT get drunk. Do not BE drunk. Agree to not GET drunk. It’s sloppy and you’re gonna feel awful in the morning, and think of it: if you do have an afterwards, do you want it to be in the fog of alcohol that dulls your senses..? Limits your awareness?

      Breathe, and take it at a pace that you feel comfortable with. People might disagree with me, but the guidelines to exploring sex is the same regardless of whether your partner is a man or a woman. You are boss of your own body, your own desires, your own interests and limits. If you want to go slow, then say so. If you want to take her to bed the minute you see her, work your seductive wiles and whisper that to her at an appropriate moment. Don’t worry about never having made love with a woman: start with kissing, and go from there: talk, ask, explore.

      If I have any advice, it would be to not assume that just because she is a woman, that she likes what you like. Ask her how she likes to be kissed, touched, and if she doesn’t know, then you’ve got a license to explore. ;-). And that, Dear B, is only if you want to: even with a woman: go at a pace and as far as you feel comfortable, and stop when you don’t.: And if you do need to stop, talk about it.

      By the same token, you might not want to do that on your first date. You might want to wait til your second date. or Fourth. It’s human nature to worry about the future, and wonder….what if.

      And if you are scared stiff, and neither of you knows what to do, and you like each other and your both frozen to the spot because you aren’t drunk and slobbering all over each other….and you’re each wondering who should kiss who first…. you can be brave: take a deep breath and say, “I’d really like to kiss you now….

      But breathe, take it moment by moment and have a wonderful time. Best of luck!

  4. LivygurL says:

    Hahaha I remember my first encounter with a lesbian, now turned out to be my greatest love. So straight back then, I was just way curious how to kiss a girl… Tried it with my butch friend and then the rest is history.. :p Going 2 yrs and counting… I have never felt (so) loved and satisfied with her. All the men that I was with before cannot compare to her. 😀

    • fs says:

      Congratulations on finding love. Isn’t it curious where a kiss can lead, Katy Perry notwithstanding? I did make a wee editorial correction to your comment (in brackets). So can I ask: do you think you were ‘turned’ lesbian or did you find yourself in a place of discovering what is comfortable for you, as in, you discovered that you are a lesbian.

      I know some women compare loving women to loving men. That always give me pause to consider the fairness of it. I can’t compare my relationships with men to my relationships with women, since it is clear now that there was something that was not right for me, even though the guys were great, wonderful men. It wouldn’t have mattered how great the guy is: my heart, mind body and soul is for women, and once I discovered that, it is as you say: the rest is history, and so I don’t compare.

      And I hope you get to keep counting for a long, long time… 🙂

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