Step right up folks, don’t be shy! Inside this tent you’ll find many wonders of the unnatural world: the dumb questions that people ask about all things lesbian. Yes, some are innocent and haven’t a clue and blurt out statements such as “gee I just don’t know about this and I’d really like to know”. Others, well, they just aren’t thinking things through is all, and so dumb questions fall out of their heads. It’s something to see.
To whet your appetite and invite you in just in time for Toronto Pride, here’s a sample.
Q: What is the best way to have a lesbian experience?
A: The fastest way is to be a lesbian.
Now let me give you a bit of context. When you say ‘lesbian experience’ I will assume two things:
- that you are a woman, and
- that your definition of a lesbian experience is limited to you having sex with a woman.
If you are not a lesbian and have no inclination to ever be a lesbian, you will not have the best lesbian experience. It might be the best and most interesting, erotic, sexual experience, but it’s not the best lesbian experience any more than spending a night in Rome sitting on the Spanish Steps or walking in the Trevi Fountain is the best Italian experience.
If you can’t fall in love with a woman and can’t imagine living your life with a woman, giving your heart mind, body and soul to a woman and wanting to share everything with her, then you are simply looking for a sexual experience with a woman, and exploring sexuality; a tourist in Lesbianland. Which is fine. Sexual exploration is natural and healthy. I’m all for playing. But please: name it for what it is.