In that genre of non-fiction, or at least the genre of storytelling that friends do when they get together over wine and dinner, the one that starts with “I can’t make this sh*t up, there are some astonishing realities that outdo fiction and fantasy. Like my friend who went on a date with a guy and it was going so well that they went back to his house for a drink and whatever and oh dear, didn’t he end up dead.
People ask jaw-dropping, mind-numbing dumb questions that make some of us give our head a shake to shake loose the bewilderment of “I can’t believe someone wouldn’t know the answer to this.”
And so, I am adding a page to my blog to capture “can’t make this sh*t up” dumb questions. These pages will be the search terms, the questions that people ask that somehow the google folks and their algorithms deem must always be jettisoned to my blog. I’ll repeat verbatim what the search term/question is and attempt to answer it, although when faced with a dumb question my reaction is rarely to answer seriously. I prefer to stare incredulously and ask, “What did you just say?”
Feel free to ask me questions, even if they aren’t dumb.
Q: How can a man turn a woman into a lesbian?
A: By being a man.
A: Discover that the woman he’s seeing, living with, married has discovered she is a lesbian. Take her to the park, or to the beach, tell her to close her eyes, kiss her forehead, turn her around three times, whisper in her ear, “fly be free” and let her go.
A: As hard as it is to think that men are not the centre of everyone’s universe, it is important to understand that at times, not everything about woman is about a man. A woman discovering she is a lesbian is one of those times.
A: A man can turn women off of men completely. That does not mean she will become a lesbian. In fact, I know many straight women whose only use for and interest in men is sex. The rest of the time they want to hang out with family and friends and animals. Go figure.
A: He can’t. She does it all by herself.