Dumb Question of the Day


In that genre of non-fiction, or at least the genre of storytelling that friends do when they get together over wine and dinner, the one that starts with “I can’t make this sh*t up, there are some astonishing realities that outdo fiction and fantasy. Like my friend who went on a date with a guy and it was going so well that they went back to his house for a drink and whatever and oh dear, didn’t he end up dead.

People ask jaw-dropping, mind-numbing dumb questions that make some of us give our head a shake to shake loose the bewilderment of  “I can’t believe someone wouldn’t know the answer to this.”

And so, I am adding a page to my blog to capture “can’t make this sh*t up” dumb questions. These pages will be the search terms, the questions that people ask that somehow the google folks and their algorithms deem must always be jettisoned to my blog. I’ll repeat verbatim what the search term/question is and attempt to answer it, although when faced with a dumb question my reaction is rarely to answer seriously. I prefer to stare incredulously and ask, “What did you just say?”

Feel free to ask me questions, even if they aren’t dumb.

Dumb question

Q: How can a man turn a woman into a lesbian?

A: By being a man.

A: Discover that the woman he’s seeing, living with, married has discovered she is a lesbian. Take her to the park, or to the beach, tell her to close her eyes, kiss her forehead, turn her around three times, whisper in her ear, “fly be free” and let her go.

A: As hard as it is to think that men are not the centre of everyone’s universe, it is important to understand that at times, not everything about woman is about a man. A woman discovering she is a lesbian is one of those times.

A: A man can turn women off of men completely. That does not mean she will become a lesbian. In fact, I know many straight women whose only use for and interest in men is sex. The rest of the time they want to hang out with family and friends and animals. Go figure.

The truth

A: He can’t. She does it all by herself.

2 Responses to Dumb Question of the Day

  1. Sarah says:

    completely unrelated to the above post: thought you might like to know that a comment you made several years ago lives on. If you recall, after sharing my experience of trying to figure out how to come back to life after my love/heart/home died, you marvelled that life/the world continues after the intimate tsunami that is loss. My dad died this past spring, and my mother really appreciated your turn of phrase. Kudos, you wordsmith!

    best wishes,

    –Sarah

    • FS says:

      Dear Sarah;

      I am sorry to hear of your mother’s — and your — loss. It hurts, doesn’t it? There is something about the physical space that is no longer inhabited by someone we love, no longer in the kitchen, in the car, in the hallway, in the bathroom, opening the door, watching TV, in bed, with you in a big hug, and the abundance of negative space that we become aware of (in odd moments and for a long, long time) and moves us, touches us. It’s a completely sensory, energetic experience, something that words will never adequately convey. But maybe that’s what music and poetry are for.

      I remember our exchange/conversation very well, and have often stopped to wonder how you’re doing. And thank you, thank you, thank you: it’s humbling and kind of cool: I’m blushing. 😉

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