Sometimes you find that love is planted, anchored; it wraps its arms gently around you both, holding you close to grow and grow and grow and explode through the seasons of life until the laws step in to say there aren’t any more seasons for one of you. Love leaves; its gift of songs of happy impermanence, a life lived in moments, echoing through the canyons of your heart and mind.
Sometimes you find love you weren’t looking for. Love you don’t want. But you don’t walk away. It seems compelling, interesting, and provocative. You stay close to it, double parking close to that love with her for a while, wondering what to do with it, with her and if there will be a two of you and as you wonder all this, it’s slipping away, the wondering you’re doing driving a wedge between the two of you. You’re pushing love away and closing her off from you. One day as you ponder parking more permanently with her and with love, you look up from yourself: love’s leaving. And she’s gone.
Sometimes you find love. Right there. Standing beside you. You don’t want it. She doesn’t want it and yet the two of you ignore what you don’t want and explore what you do want with each other. Love stays to play for a while. Then she decides it’s not love at all, just curiosity. She whispers lies or truths — it matters not — and leaves. You wonder if there will be tears. Love turns to you sadly shrugging its shoulders as it packs up, reminding you that you knew better. You nod. Love hands you a battered old book, and you curl up to look at it. Love finishes packing. You are reading pages from Book of I Knew She Would Break My Heart, with its pages of untruths and never-intended and you shake your head at your own foolishness. Love opens a window and leaves as you close the book and close your mind to wondering.
Sometimes you find love somewhere, with her and you stay. She stays. The two of you find love and together you make it a home. And it is good, even as you both know that sometimes, love leaves, even from a good home. And if it leaves, it will leave something; a discovery, a question, a change, a scar, a fear, a hope, a strength, courage, willingness. Love always leaves something.