For a few weeks, the search terms I saw appearing in the blog gave me some hope that there was a shift underway in the lesbian universe: terms like cuddling, loving her, love you 4 ever, lesbian marriage, and other lesbian loving-type terms appeared every day for two weeks in a row. It was quite heartening.
But it didn’t last. This week, the search term tab looked a lot like the search term tab has looked since I started this blog — lesbian wants straight women, straight woman wants lesbian sex, want a lesbian experience, and variations thereof.
<Insert a deep and dramatic sigh here>
I understand. I get it. Well, maybe I do. Sex and sexuality is fluid and women like to explore and straight women see it as something to experience and play with, after all, it’s just exploring sex with another woman. Some of my straight friends have been quite open about being curious and wanting to explore. To them, it’s a sexual fantasy, so why not? And truly, if they find a woman to sleep with, why not?
In today’s article, I’d like to point out that there’s a book that might be able to help: The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks, a book that’s been around since 2004 and is a mix of silly and somewhat informative stuff about sex between women. It’s written by a straight woman who knows of what she speaks and is offering advice to women who want to do the same.
And where did I learn of this book? In Toronto, early September, across from the endangered Riverdale Farm where it sat on a table at a yard sale being held by a reasonably attractive woman. I might have furrowed my brows when I saw it. Actually I didn’t see it initially. It was pointed out to me. Then I furrowed my brows. Those of us looking at it were all lesbians. Those of us looking at it were more than a little surprised with a dash of indignant tossed in for good measure. One of us sputtered that I had to say something to someone…didn’t I? Well, no.
I suppose in the here’s an opportunity to make money capitalistic way, the book’s writer sniffed an opportunity and used her unique expertise to take advantage of a huge gap that existed between women wanting to sleep with other women yet not knowing how to go about doing that or knowing where to turn to get the important details. It’s also possible that it was written with tongue planted firmly in cheek to be a good, funny read with appropriate pictures so that it could be a good gag gift for the straight woman who’s always complaining about men. Works either way, I think.
I did some research on the book and came away less opposed to it than I thought I would be, given the title. (Cue exhausted cliché on judging a book by its title.)
The Straight Woman’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks could be useful for straight women who use the term chicks, who are going to sleep with other straight women or who want to seduce their lesbian friends who dig straight women. It’s possible too that having such information might help put some jitters to rest for those straight women subject to such jitters. However, because I’m not in the demographic named by the book, I confess that I cannot claim any authority on the matter, just opinion.
There are nuggets of useful information in the book that might help some straight women who want a sexual encounter of two with another woman or two or three; alone or all together at once. (Some of what I saw made me blush!) The book does give a nod to the emotional context and the importance of communication, which one would think is essential for sexual intimacy between lovers of any persuasion, not just two women.
My penny’s worth? It’s not rocket or computer science this sleeping with women, specially if the bed is all cozy and warm. But if more straight women took some time to read the book they might become more informed even about the language, which in turn might help them refine their searches and find things on the internet that will help them in a substantive way in their quest to have lesbian sex. Which by the way, is not something that my blog can do. ;-)