Words connected to lesbianism


The doorbell rang and I ignored it. I wasn’t expecting anyone so I let the dogs bark; hoping the noise would chase off any door-to-door canvassers.

Then it rang again. Grrrrr. I hate dealing with door-to-door canvassers, specially in the winter. I shooed the dogs from the door, a little curious now because I didn’t see anyone through the glass in the door. I opened the door and peeked out to see if someone was standing to the side. No-one. Then I looked down.

Oh my goddess! It was just like in the old movies. A little baby basket. With a bundle in it. Being the kind-hearted soul I am, I picked that little bundle up, held it in my arms, moving the blankets aside and knew immediately that somehow, someone knew where to bring such an odd creation where it would be accepted for what it is; an unusual, confused and orphaned search string: Words Connected to Lesbianism.

This odd search term arrived here because this is a place of sanctuary from all isms, a safe house. Because this is my L blog, My Words! and being a lesbian, ALL of my words are connected to all things lesbian. Except for when they aren’t.

But let’s get one thing straight, um, clear. An ‘ism’ is a doctrine: a belief (or system of beliefs) accepted as authoritative by some group or school of thought. Let me say this about that: I’m taking my new little bundle to the word doctor for an operation to remove the ism before it turns dangerous.

It’s true that everything has its own language, own jargon which does two things: it builds solidarity for the people within the community and it serves to set a community apart, ensure otherness to keep outsiders out.

The lesbian language did not develop in the primordial linguistic goo. It was formulated in secret labs. Not many lesbian historians like to talk about this, but not talking about it will not make it go away. The truth is that there exists a secret cabal of lesbians running the ever-growing lesbian everything everywhere and they are hounds-of-hell strict about the dress code, the dating code, the word usage code, the food and cooking code, the fashion or lack thereof code, the hair cut code, the various flavours of sex code, the dance code, and most troubling to me, carving in stone tablets for perpetuity two very bad ideas: lesbian drama code and sleeping with best friend’s ex code. Nobody ever said cabals are smart, did they?

I for one have long taken a stand against the lesbian cabal, even when I’m lying down: I am a lesbian, not a lesbianism. And my words connected to lesbian include yum, laughter, intelligence, life, movies, fast cars, shoes, love, cashmere, silk, making love, spice, home, hot bath, oh my goddess she is so cool, books, dogs, friends, music, paying the bills, when, what, why, where, when, and how, respect, honour, her, us, we, touch, yes, no, maybe, really and my new favourite words — oh, seriously and now.

Don’t get me wrong, I can use the lesbianism language when I visit Lesbianismland. I can navigate and fit in. And I used them a lot as I was coming out and for the first little while. But then I noticed people categorized me by the words I used and I was limited in what I could articulate in that particular dialect, that lesbian jargon. I was not too keen on that and so I stopped.

Today, I use proper Canadian English words, plus a few in French, Italian, Greek and Portuguese, along with some slang, street and on occasion, Mime, Charades and Pig Latin. If anything in my idiolect connects me to being a lesbian, it’s that I tend to overuse the pronouns she and her, and that’s a direct result of being in the group of me and my very own school of thought: being a lesbian, being intellectually, romantically and sexually attracted to women, falling in love with women, being with a woman in partnership and being in a good love is the best thing on the planet because after all, isn’t she what a lesbian is all about?


Lesbian Life does a decent job of the listing the major non-sexual glossary of terms that newbies to the lesbian community might want to understand.

About FS

Toronto, Canada. Writing about slices of life, the moments and minor details of which come into awareness or out of imagination and the spaces inbetween. On hiatus from writing anywhere else but here ... at least for now.
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2 Responses to Words connected to lesbianism

  1. K-Rae says:

    I never knew there was an actual lesbian ‘language’. And I’m Lesbian and I didn’t know this! Haha.
    I love your blog, ma’am. It’s quite intriguing and you make some very, very good and valid points in them. (:
    Haha, Words connected to lesbian: “Yum”
    I’m going to keep reading, for sure. (:

    • FS says:

      Hello, Kendall: Thank you. I am honoured that you enjoy it here. You know, there is a tribe that uses the term ‘points’ as code for nipples? No word of a lie: cross Sappho’s heart. The Lesbian language… is perhaps more of a dialect: but I’ll let the linguists of our broader tribe debate that point as we listen in. The Lesbian language is changing as we speak, and I suspect that our language will be a lost, ancient language in a few generations when being a lesbian is no big deal. So get to know it now so that you too will be able to tell future generations of lesbians…”there was a time when we had our own language….

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