Some of us are like straight women

In the Strange but true department which is located next to the Truth is stranger than fiction department, which is itself right next to Can’t make this shit up department is something dark and quiet (and not in a good way) that truly puzzles my puzzler.

Lesbians who do not like women much.

Oh sure, they go for the romance and sex stuff. But that’s as far as it goes.

It’s hard to spot a lesbian who doesn’t really like women: it’s more subtle than internalized homophobia. In fact, I bet it’s some kind of lesbian disorder; behind-closed-doors malignant misogyny that’s dared not whisper its name and is so puzzling that it might not even have a queer academic paper on it yet.

But out there on the street, in the bars, in the offices and in lesbian homes, it’s out there. And there are some signs that can alert you to the fact that a lesbian doesn’t like women.

Sometimes she suffers from MAS. For those of you who have not heard of MAS, that’s Male Answer Syndrome and trust me: some women, including lesbians, exhibit symptoms of this syndrome big time.

If she cannot say to save her life the words, I don’t know, she has MAS.

If she can’t keep quiet when people are talking about anything around her she has MAS.

MAS is more than someone being a run-of-the-mill know-it-all, or someone who is simply well-informed, or just completely and sublimely intelligent. With MAS, everyone needs to hear everything she has to say including her opinion and is welcome to hear it. And she knows how everything works. Just ask.

And if she asks a question or advice, she is quite discerning about whose answer to take. A woman might be the only expert around for miles and kilometres. This woman might also give the right and perfect answer to this lesbian who doesn’t like women, but it won’t matter and it won’t be heard and it won’t be taken in or acknowledged. The only voices she can hear, this lesbian who does not like women, are typically male voices and therefore, the answers that she can take in must come from a man. In fact, most of the close friends of this lesbian who does not like women, are men. And not gay men either; her good friends are those she considers her peers: straight men.

These lesbians are no different from straight women who don’t much like men. You know those women: they date, sleep with, have relationships with, marry and divorce men, sometimes lots and lots of them, all the while berating men in general and more specifically, every chance they get, their partner.

How is that okay on any planet, in any civil society?

What I find curious is just how many of these lesbians seek out and become involved with straight women, as if seeing or being with a real lesbian is somehow something inferior.

A lesbian who does not like women except as sexually tends to be quiet about her views on women, since it is not acceptable to be a misogynist lesbian. And she’d never call herself a feminist. But sometimes you catch it, when she’s with her straight male friends, with her skirt and lipstick, guzzling beer, channeling her inner not-so-sweet version of some misogynist mullet-headed hockey player, talking about dumb women as if she isn’t one at all.

It’s not like she wants to be a man, either. No F-to-M for her.

It’s entirely possible that the psychiatric and psychology fields would diagnose these lesbians as having some sort of attachment disorder, intimacy issues, esteem issues. Or maybe a deeply rooted belief that women are somehow inferior to men, stemming from some childhood event or series of events that they interpreted with child mind to be THE way the world works — boys are better than girls. I’m not qualified to think about any of that. But it is rather sad and disquieting to think that some lesbians practice the world’s oldest prejudice: misogyny.

Which shouldn’t surprise me too much I suppose: there are straight women who don’t like women, either.

About FS

Toronto, Canada. Writing about slices of life, the moments and minor details of which come into awareness or out of imagination and the spaces inbetween. On hiatus from writing anywhere else but here ... at least for now.
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