I am so gonna grrrrrr.
Better to grr in frustration than to have a snarling lesbian princess fit as I wonder why more people don’t think about what they’re thinking, and why they think what they think, and that they don’t change what they think when there is a truckload of evidence to show that what they think is outdated or wrong. But that’s just me: seems I expect people with brains to use them for more than collecting dust bunnies or monkey droppings.
Why am I grrrring you ask? There’s a rash of Google searches about turning straight women into lesbians. Is there a campaign going on that I — a card-carrying Canadian lesbian — have not been informed about? Are we on a recruitment drive?
I know that the masses are asses, but you’d think or maybe it’s just me, that we’d want to be educated on a thing so near and dear to our hearts, minds and bodies as sex. But noooo. Why be educated about something that affects you when you can be ignorant? And that’s why, with all the knowledge we have about sexuality, about people’s motivation and how arousal works, there are STILL people who think it’s possible to turn a woman who is straight into a lesbian.
For those of you who have NOT been keeping up, allow me to recap at the highest possible level the current body of knowledge:
Certain things are social/cultural constructs, and the rigid demarcations around sexuality and sexual expression are one of them. What people do behind closed doors and in imagination might be quite different. (That’s as academic as I get, promise.)
Sexuality is not exactly a rigid aspect of self. Physiologically, our bodies are designed to respond to certain things. Commonly those things are with someone of the opposite sex. Sometimes, some of us respond only when those things are with someone of same sex. Sometimes for some people, (Le GASP!) it matters not whether those certain things are done by a man or a woman as long as they are done. Bisexuality may be viewed with some suspicion or confusion by those of us who identify as strictly heterosexual or homosexual, but that confusion does not in any way mean that bisexuality is not real and legitimate. It just means we don’t get it, and we want you bisexuals to make a choice because we don’t know what box to put you in or if it’s worth the risk getting involved with you.
But back to my grrrrr. Let me be VERY clear: a woman who is straight, who defines herself as straight and ONLY straight and is only aroused by men and only wants to be with and love a man is not going to be turned into a lesbian by some evil lesbian vampire looking for fresh meat. NOT.
Watch for turning lesbian, next three exits
A straight woman who appears all of a sudden to choose to be a lesbian, to take women as lovers, to partner with a woman and live her life with a woman is clearly a woman who’s not straight at all: otherwise she would not, repeat would NOT become a lesbian. NOT.
It’s true that many women who are lesbians were at one time straight. We all try to fit in, get boyfriends, maybe get married, possibly have kids because we think that’s what we are supposed to do and we don’t want to be this thing we think we are. Or maybe we don’t know we aren’t straight until we meet her, the one that knocks ours socks off.
There are the ladies who lunch. You know them. I know them: women who are ‘straight’ but all their extra-marital affairs are with women. Are they straight? Is what they’re doing right?
We turn straight women into lesbians? How exactly do we do that?
Love and sex are amazing, insane, twin madnesses within our psyche and physiology, and sometime all that madness is between two people of the opposite sex and sometimes it’s between two people of the same sex.
Do lesbians turn a truly straight women into lesbians? No.
Here’s what turns a woman into a lesbian: wanting, loving, desiring, yearning for, sighing for, crying for, singing out loud for, smiling and laughing for, risking a broken heart for, sending out echolocation signals for women and only women and deciding to finally do something about it.
That’s what turns a straight woman into a lesbian.