There I was sitting at my desk pondering the things that I ponder, contemplating the things I contemplate and musing about my muse because that is SO much better than oh say, vacuuming the stairs when all of a sudden a headline flashed across the LED newswire in the back of my mind:
Lesbians are People Too!
I gave my head a metaphorical shake; sort of what I would do if my head were a snow globe, which it isn’t, but that’s not the point. I shook it to see if I could get the W-5 of that headline. For non-journalists, reporters, broadcasters and aspiring media types, W-5 is the basis of all good reporting that provide the snapshot details of the story and typically are right after the headline:
- where, and
How is included in the mix, much like a silent ‘e’ or ‘k’ in certain English words; think — knife: two letters are not pronounced but required to describe the item; after all, what on earth is a ‘nif’ for? (No offence to you nifs out there).
At any rate I gathered the thoughts, looked at them and uttered a thoughtful, “Hmmm“.
Lesbians are people too.
Apparently that IS news to some people. As if somehow lesbians are so OTHER, so incredibly different, that the very difference prevents people from seeing anything else other that LESBIAN who SLEEPS (and other stuff) with women! (Remembering that normal is simply what’s common…….)
Lesbian are people too. Women type-people even.
Curiously, like most women, we lesbians get up in the morning, go to the washroom, get dressed, have a day, read, get grumpy, get happy, walk dogs (cats refuse to walk, apparently) oh and eat and drive and watch movies and do laundry.
Some of us dance well, doing Latin: rumba, tango. Or waltzes. Or Bollywood and hip hop. Sadly some of us dance like rhythmically challenged white guys. Some of us are disabled and dance in our wheelchairs. Some of us can’t hear and move to a different rhythm entirely.
Some of us are stunningly, drop dead, spill-your-coffee, give-me-a-fainting-couch gorgeous. Some of us, not so much.
Some of us cook. Some of us are allergic to kitchens even if we do watch Top Chef to cheer on our tattooed tribe members.
Some of us are fashionable and have a keen sense of colour and design. Others are good with hoodies, year ’round Birkenstocks and chunky knotted pine furniture with faux zebra patterns.
Some of us are good people you really want to know. Some of us are rather unpleasant.
Some of us are smart. Others are…sweet.
In other words we are as diverse and wacky as everyone else. And that’s because lesbians are people too. It’s true.
If you don’t believe me, let me scramble up some Shakespeare albeit substituting Samantha (Sam), a suburban lesbian for the Bard’s Shylock:
“Samantha: I am a Lesbian. Hath not a Lesbian eyes? Hath not a Lesbian hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal’d by the same means, warm’d and cool’d by the same winter and summer, as any other person is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.”
FYI: Shakespeare aside: Anyone — even my most nearly beloved — who dares attempt to tickle me will get my stingray of death look, complete with uber-arched eyebrow and flared nostrils, so do not even THINK about tickling me to see if I laugh. Trust me, you do not want that look: it kills and maims.
As for revenge, it was apparently an important thing during the time when Shylock spoke and Shakespeare wrote. We know better now, so we can ignore it.
Lesbians ARE people too. And here’s the W-5 of the headline:
What: Are people
When: From the moment they are born until the moment they are no longer physically on this planet.
Where: Everywhere. We are everywhere. Even up in space thanks to Roberta Bondar. Did I say everywhere?
Why: I could just say because I said so, but let’s look at the facts: We’re full of human DNA. We’ve got fingers, toes, eyes, ears, mouth and nose. And opposable thumbs. We use tools, we laugh, we cry. We plan things. Parties and stuff. By all physiological and psychological and metaphysical criteria we are human. By virtue of being born to the species homo sapiens, we of the lesbian tribes are human. Man’s laws may seek to say otherwise but laws are hardy tellers of truth now, are they?
How: The same way every other woman is: being the person, the woman she is, expressing her personhood; living, loving, growing in heart, spirit and deed, making the world, if only for herself, for one person, one animal, a little better off because she’s in it. That’s how.
What I haven’t talked about is the other newsflash. Women are people too. I’ll leave that one for another day.