As Sappho is my muse, I swear on a stack of newly minted lesbians that every other day under the heading Top Search Terms for my blog is the following sentence: “signs that a straight woman is interested in a lesbian”.
Seriously? Who’s asking this, exactly?
Let’s assume for argument’s sake that it’s innocent lesbians who are keying the search term because the other search term that showed up today — “signs that a woman is attracted to you lesbians” — is clearly the idiolect of those with higher levels of testosterone, typically found in most males and many female conservatives.
As you know, higher levels of testosterone do not result in an improved ability to articulate thoughts: if it did would we have the recent trend dangling from the back of trucks: droopy balls? I am relieved to know where they’ve all gone and that some men and women are courageously displaying the loss they can’t discuss. Let’s all move on and get back on topic.
For the ones hunting down the signs, listen up: even if she’s hired a plane to skywrite her interest or is picketing your house with a sign or sandwich board that reads in big bold words, “I’m interested in the lesbian that lives here“, who cares?
Some lesbians pursue straight women because they need the one that’s unattainable. And some lesbians keep score of how many straight women they can bed because it’s fun and easy and mildly entertaining and helps to avoid real relationships with real lesbians. However, I don’t think they are the ones looking for the signs.
I’m thinking that these innocent lesbian/google girls are either:
- new to the planet of Lesbiana
- stuck somewhere with no peers or mentors, or
- looking to confirm that their Spidey sense is correct so they can make their moves.
If you’re the introspective kind, you might wonder WHY you’re interested to know if she’s interested. If you are in love with her, that’s an entirely different matter and not within the scope of this post. Conversely, she might also be genuinely questioning her sexual identity, which is also beyond the scope of this post.
Women flirt. Straight women flirt. So do lesbians. Straight women flirt with lesbians. And lesbians flirt back. Happens all the time. Straight women touch in a way that is not exactly sexual but within the lines of intimate touch that suggests more than friends. Definitely a sign, that touching thing. Signs of interest? Perhaps.
Standing rather close can be a sign. In intimate space, which is closer than personal space. If she comes into the bathroom with you all the time specially when you are in the bath or shower? Definitely a sign.
Another sign: always calling on you when in need of help: TA-DA!! SuperLesbian to the rescue! Or, she’s there for you with hugs and an ear and major cuddles when you need it and more for when you don’t. These ones are tricky: they’ll exploit your emotional closeness but not step into the sexual arena. There are names for people like that.
Some go further. Give you sloppy kisses when drunk. Yuck. That’s a sign, but she’s drunk. Ignore it.
Some give really BIG signs, like talking about how if they were ever going to be interested, YOU would definitely be the one. What, exactly, are you supposed to do with that information and why is she telling you?
And why do you care?
Other big signs? You get invited for a threesome with her husband. Or she tries to seduce you after guzzling some alcoholic courage.
There are those who give mixed signals, like those straight women who have sex with lesbians. Or girls who have girlfriends in college and do a U-turn back to straight after graduation.
A straight woman is a straight woman and a woman who identifies as straight is not a lesbian and just because everyone else is interested in lesbians does not mean that lesbians have to return the interest unless they want to play and be sex toys. Which is fine for the ones that do. Flavour of the week — YOU — is always an experience. Once.
If you think she’s interested, ask her. And if she asks you why you’re asking, list the reasons, the behaviours. If she says she’s interested, ask her why and what she hopes to do with that interest.
Signs that a straight woman is interested in lesbians? Think about it: The signs are universal and really, who ISN’T interested in lesbians in some way these days?
And timing ’tis a most curious thing, is it not? As women lose ground everywhere that you can think of when it comes to positional power in the world, it seems interest in everything to do with women’s sexuality is once again growing faster than you can say lesbefriends.